Parts of Fashion: Comfort

I've decided to do a series of posts of on what I view as the most important parts of fashion, starting with the most important, comfort. Comfort is the number one reason people choose the wear what they wear. Keep in mind, this is wearing clothes, not buying them. Many people, I might even say most, buy clothes that are cute, cool, super chic, whatever, and leave them to hang forever in their closets, never to be worn. Tim Gunn calls these clothes "Those Items that -- For Reasons Unknown -- You Never Wear" in his book A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style. I would say that there is one reason. You don't feel comfortable in it.

There are different types of comfort. Some types may not apply to some people, all may apply to others. I may not even know all of them. Sure, I analyze clothing and why I wear what I wear, why others wear what they wear and why certain styles stick and others don't, but that doesn't mean I have figured out every type of comfort. I am a mostly self-taught when it comes to fashion theories. I do think I have a good start on the list, and I'm open to other ideas.

1. Mental comfort. A huge part of fashion is self-expression (which I will go more in depth on in a later post). Since self-expression is so big, it only stands to reason that, if a piece of clothing does not accurately represent you, you will not want to wear it. A lot of people don't seem to think about what their clothes say about them, but I think it's because it comes naturally to people...because of comfort...no way.
   
   To test this theory, I would talk to people I didn't know very well (aka was sitting next to in a class), and tell them about a fashion class I was taking. I would bring up how clothing is our first form of communication, that what we wear is an expression of ourselves and you can tell a lot about a person just based on their clothes. Most of the time the person would look at me skeptically and ask me what their clothes say about them, if they are so telling. I would then tell the person my first impression of them, which was based on their clothes (as most first impressions are. I call it the first-first impression). The people I talked to were always impressed at how accurate I was.
   
   I concluded, based on my experiment as well as studies and books I've read, that people automatically wear clothes that make them mentally comfortable.
   
2. Situational comfort. There are clothes that are made for certain events. An evening gown is not typically worn to work and athletic clothes are not normally worn on dates (unless it's an athletic date). Some clothes are made to cross events, but only with a change in combination. People generally do not want to under- or over-dress, even if it happens more often than anyone wants to admit.
   
   Imagine you're having a pick-me-up day. You're not feeling so hot and you want to feel better about yourself. What do you wear? Does it depend on how you're making yourself feel better? I bet it does. If you pick yourself up by binge watching your favorite TV show while chowing down on snacks, I doubt you are wearing the outfit that flatters you the most. No one else is going to see you, so you wear whatever you want. If you're the type of person that needs to get out of the house to feel better, I would wager that you are wearing a casual outfit that you feel the most attractive in. Perhaps you go somewhere fancy when you feel bad. You're probably wearing your nicest outfit. Each situation calls for a different outfit.
   
   Now imagine you're going to work. What do you wear? A uniform? Casual clothes? Clothes that can get dirty? Traditional business attire? Trendy business attire? Does it depend on where you're working? Of course it does. Would you feel uncomfortable coming in something else? I would say most people would say yes.
   
3. Physical comfort. This one, I think, is the most obvious. No one wants to wear something that's itchy or pulling funny or falls off all the time. OK, maybe someone does, but I can't understand why. I don't think this needs much explaining. The best example I can think of is, when people are adamant that fashion means nothing, they always say "I just dress to be comfortable." Upon further prying, they usually mean physically.

While I may have spent this entire post talking about personal fashion, it can't be denied that this plays a big part in the fashion industry. It doesn't matter how innovative, cool-looking, awe-inspiring or awesome a piece of clothing is, if no one will feel comfortable in it, it won't sell and the item will disappear from the shelves. Comfort is the biggest aspect of personal fashion, but it does not completely make up personal fashion, which is why there will be more posts to follow!

Style is the definition of you

I got engaged recently and, like many engaged women, I've been looking at wedding dresses. Even before I got engaged, I knew I'd have a hard time finding a wedding dress. I'm not a huge fan of trains, but I don't think column dresses are so great for a wedding. I rarely like lace, I don't like wedding dress beading, and I am not a fan of shininess on dresses. I will not wear a dress that has bows or flowers on it. I want a long sleeved dress and I want it simple yet stylized. Clearly, I'm not an easy woman to shop for.

Why blog about my laments in regards to wedding dresses? Because I've been thinking about my style. I love my style. It is me and no one else. Sure, I wear things that other women would wear and I may even have some pieces of clothing that aren't particularly unique, but that's not what's important. What's important is what I tell people with my clothes, hair, make up, etc.

It's very important to me that I never look like a slob. I want to show people that I'm well put together and can think for myself. I don't ever want to look matronly but I refuse to show more than I deem appropriate (which isn't very much). I want people to look at me and know that I can get the job done. What job? I don't know, but I want people to think I do and that I can do it. I have anxiety about not dressing appropriately for occasions and I live by the rule that it's better to be over dressed than under dressed.

I think it's very important for everyone to care about their personal style. I don't think everyone needs to be a fashionista or even fashion forward. However, your clothes will say something about you whether you want them to or not. There are two serious style issues that I wish to address.

First, there are people who will never dress their age. I see this a lot in Utah and, as my friends can attest, it drives me nuts! One of the things that bugs me the most about living in Utah is the fashion of mothers and daughters. (Note: This is not every single family, and it's not only in Utah. There's just an unusually large population with this problem in Utah.) It's quite hard to tell the difference between many mothers, daughters, and, sometimes, grandmothers (shudder) from looking at clothes and hair in Utah. If the daughter dresses her age, the mother dresses the daughter's age as well. If the mother dresses her age, the daughter dresses the mother's age. I am a huge fan of age appropriate clothing.

When you are a teenager, you have a fundamental right to dress like a teenager. While it doesn't look very good, you can experiment with layering and wearing sweats with Uggs. Teenage years are a time for you to find your style. Experiment with clothes, figure out what looks good on you, what you like and what you don't like.

Mothers, middle-aged women, grandmothers, male equivelants of these labels, please let the teenagers be the teenagers. You can be stylish and still look like the mature person that you are. High fashion is there for you, if that's what you're interested in! There are plenty of clothing lines directed at you that are fashionable, fresh, beautiful, anything you're looking for in your clothing. You don't need to dress like a teenager to look young.

The other problem is people who refuse to admit that clothes define them. This is a delusional lie. Clothes will always say something about you. Clothes don't have to define you. Notice the title of my post. Style is your definition. Do you see the difference there? You have the control. When you decide that clothes don't matter and just throw on anything, people will see that you don't care. That's a horrible first impression. It's important to understand that style does not mean fashionable. If you, for some reason, are against fashion, then wear classics or something, but don't stop caring. That's a horrible practice. You don't have to be as obsessed with clothes and design as I am, but you should care about what you look like. Don't look like a hobo.

Now about wedding dresses, I want my style to show on my wedding. I may get lucky and find a dress that I love. However, I have planned for this and know how to make patterns. Dress designing, here I come!

Fashion at BYU

It's the start of another school year. As many of my friends know, I tend to rant about fashion I see at school. BYU tends to get more rants from me than other places because of the honor code. I have pretty strong feelings about the honor code. I've heard a lot of complaints about it. I have one response to these people. If you don't like the honor code, go to another school. The honor code is part of BYU and you signed it to come here. Part of the honor code includes groom and dress.

Now that I've said that, I have a list of top ten good things I've seen in the last 3 weeks! I also have a list of 10 bad things I've seen.

The good:
10. Classic maternity shirts. BYU is also fairly unique in the amount of pregnant women there are on campus. I've always thought it was a silly idea to buy trendy maternity shirts. If you do that, you'll have to buy new shirts every time you get pregnant. If there is ever a time to buy classic clothing, it's when you're pregnant.
9. Shrugs and blazers over sleeveless shirts. There are a lot of really cute sleeveless shirts out there. I won't argue this. I think the best way to wear these shirts modestly is with a blazer. Occasionally, a cardigan or shrug is the best way to go. Generally, blazers look sharper. I love seeing the women on campus make their outfits modest this way.
8. Women in button up blouses. I've always loved this look. It's classic and it generally looks good. A classic button up blouse is a staple of every woman's wardrobe. These shirts are so great because they look good with jeans, slacks, or skirts. I think one of the most flattering outfits is a button up blouse tucked into a high-waisted pencil skirt.
7. "Nerdy" tees. I love superhero-themed t-shirts. I also love t-shirts with things from Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Star Wars, Star Trek, Pokemon, and Questionable Content. There's an unusually large amount of these types of t-shirts on campus. I don't know if the people wearing them just thought it was funny/cute/awesome or if they actually know what they're wearing, but I think it's awesome how many of these I see.
6. Beater-style tank tops under lace backs. I think shirts with a triangle cut out in the back covered in lace are really cute. I don't think it's OK to wear these types of shirts with a camisole. The back is too low. A lot of girls on campus wear these shirts with beaters. I think this is great! The back is high enough and you still get the look of see-through lace without being immodest.
5. Layered bobs. I love short hair. There are a lot of girls that look the same on campus. The average BYU girl's hair is long, to about the middle of her back, with "beachy waves." I don't like this style. The "waves" look like really bad hat hair. I love seeing girls around campus with short hair. There is a girl in one of my classes that has the cutest layered bob. I love seeing what she does with it every Monday and Wednesday.
4. Men wearing their pants high enough. I've always hated slouchy pants. While there are still guys that wear slouchy pants on campus, there are way more men that wear their pants at an appropriate level. It's wonderful!
3. Intricate braids. I've never been able to braid my own hair. I can barely braid other people's hair. Perhaps that's why I enjoy seeing women around campus with very intricate braids. I'm often impressed by others' hair skills.
2. Matching necklines to make things modest. I've always said, if you're going to layer shirts you have to match your necklines. Because of this, I've often told girls to avoid one shoulder shirts. This week, I saw a girl wearing a one shoulder shirt that actually looked good! She matched up the neckline so that the point of the v-neck t-shirt was at the exact spot the one-shouldered blouse crossed the neck line. It was really cute!
1. Men in shirts and ties. Perhaps it's because of the prestige of BYU's business school or maybe it's just a large amount of guys returning from missions that aren't used to normal clothes yet, but there is a very large amount of men wearing white shirts and ties on campus. It's amazing.

The Bad:
10. Wearing ear warmers as headbands. I am a huge fan of using clothes as they are intended. You don't wear pants as shirts or socks as gloves. Ear warmers were meant to keep your ears warm. Once you go inside, they should come off, just like the rest of your winter clothes. Also, it's not winter yet.
9. Over-sized glasses. Very few people can pull these off. My problem with these over-sized, black, thick-rimmed glasses is mostly with noses. If you have a very small bridge or a very small nose (think of Asian noses), these glasses make your face look flat. I actually think these glasses make people with small noses look like muppets. If you have a large nose, these glasses make your nose look HUGE! There is a very small number of people with the right sized and angled nose for these glasses to look good.
8. Knotting shirts in the front. Just tuck your shirt in! Good grief! Knots in the front of your shirt are NOT flattering AT ALL. Also, if it's a big one, which I see a lot, it kind of looks like a weirdly placed third boob.
7. See through shirts. Just because a shirt has sleeves doesn't mean it's modest, by honor code and LDS terms. If you want to wear a see through shirt, you have to wear a t-shirt under it.
6. Skirts that are blatantly too short. It's one thing to have a skirt that's too short when you're sitting but not when you're standing. If your skirt doesn't reach your knees when you're standing, get a new skirt. That is obviously not up to honor code standards.
5. Wearing out-of-season clothes. My favorite clothes are sweaters. I LOVE sweaters. That does not mean it's appropriate to wear sweaters in the summer. My sweaters aren't even appropriate for fall; they're much too thick. When you wear clothes out of season, you look like you live under a rock and have no idea what the weather is.
4. Wearing too many clothes. You look like you're suffocating. There was a girl in one of my classes this week that wore a lace, empire-waist vest and a scarf. The scarf was cute, the vest was cute, but they were not cute together. Sometimes, you just have to pick one or the other. It's the way of life. There are a lot of people I see that wear way too many clothes. I want to rip something off of them in a completely platonic way!
3. Men cuffing their pants. First off, if you're going to cuff your pants make sure they're the same height. Secondly, make sure your socks match. Black jeans with navy socks and blue shoes is the worst idea ever! Also, men don't have pretty ankles. Cuffing your pants either makes your bony, chicken leg ankles look skinnier or makes your ankles look like kankles.
2. Wearing sleeveless blouses over t-shirts. See number 9 of "The good." This looks tacky.
1. Buns on the top of heads. I'm sorry, but you look like a tee with a baseball ready to go on your head. If you wouldn't wear a pony tail there, don't wear a bun there. Especially a loose bun! What is the point? I thought loose buns were what you did when your hair got in the way. Let me tell you something, having a bun flopping around on the top of your head looks ridiculous and your hair is definitely not out of the way. Can you tell that this is my biggest fashion pet peeve? I'm aware that top-of-head buns are being used on the runways. Those buns are tight, stylized, and obviously meant to be there. When you just knot your hair on the top of your head in a couple second it looks like you weren't paying attention to your hair placement and missed.

Put your behind in your past

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about loving yourself for who you are. Once again I had too many thoughts to say in one conversation so I'm going to put them all up on the internet! That's what the internet is for, right?

Way too many people use "love yourself for who you are" as an excuse. I think the meaning of this has been twisted by society. There has been such a focus on condemning models and celebrities for giving us a skewed idea of beauty and it drives me nuts. As I told a friend once, models are picked because they wear the clothes well. A fashion designer doesn't want everybody looking at the model, they want everybody looking at the clothes. The fashion industry knows this. The designers that design for people shaped like a model rarely go far. Girls like me have a hard time finding clothes that fit, not because clothes are designed for models, but because the average girl has considerably less curviness to their bodies. If clothes were produced for girls shaped like me more girls would complain about how they fit. Instead of hearing girls complain about how they can't wear button down shirts or they have to wear baggier shirts to fit their hips, we'd be hearing more girls complaining about how they can't fill up the tops of shirts, how everything is baggy and will only fit them around the waist.

Why does this matter? Because I want it to be somewhere on the internet that says you can love yourself for who you are and still want to look better without it being unhealthy. "Love yourself for who you are" doesn't mean accept the hand that has been given you. I truly believe it means love your personality and body type.

I feel I can use myself as an example of loving yourself for who you are because I have struggled with this and come out on top. I love myself for who I am. I don't wish I had another body, but I work hard to make sure my body looks as good as it can. The biggest thing I struggled with was my skin. I was born with skin that is prone to acne and boils. I had skin that hurt for a long time. Over the counter acne treatments would help for a little while but none of them lasted. If I had decided to "love myself for who I am" as it is understood by many people today, I would still struggle with this constantly. It has not gotten better as I've gotten older and in fact has gotten worse. I decided it was worth it to take the extra time to take an antibiotic and my skin has cleared up considerably.

This might not be the best example because that is skin and this is normally aimed at weight. I would like to point out that I started the antibiotics because of comfort, not looks. When you're a healthy weight you feel better. I have never heard someone say "I wish I was fat again." When it comes to looks, love what you have and work so you can love what you don't love. I'm not saying get plastic surgery or something. I'm saying if you're over weight, work to be a healthy weight. If you are a healthy weight and you don't like the shape of your body, find flattering clothes. Remember that no one can wear every style, not even hour glass shapes (for girls) or extremely v-shapes (for guys). I'm hour glass shaped and many people seem to think hour glass shaped girls can wear anything. This is false. I cannot wear shirts that are baggy and then come in around the hips or most empire waist things. I also look horrible in yellow. I don't know why cause my skin tone should look good in yellow... I know this, so I don't wear those types of shirts no matter how much I like the shirt/dress. Clothes really can help body image.

The same thing goes for other features you may or may not like. For example, I love my eyes and lips but I hate my nose. How do I not fret about my nose? I accentuate my eyes and avoid makeup styles and glasses that might bring attention to my nose.

Now that I've spent so much time on physical appearance, it's time to say what I think that phrase really means. I don't think it's supposed to be about our bodies. I think it's supposed to be about out personalities. I don't think I'm alone when I say I could spend hours listing my faults. Everyone has them, no one has exactly the same faults as anyone else. I think "love yourself for who you are" means to love yourself even though you have faults. Again, this doesn't mean you shouldn't work on yourself. I just think it means love yourself while you strive to make yourself a better person. There is no reason you should hate yourself. You might hate things that you've done, but that should never keep you from loving yourself. Rafiki said this better than I ever could.

Rafiki was teaching Simba to love himself for who he is. That's really what The Lion King means to me. Simba still has his faults at the end of the movie, but he doesn't hate himself anymore.

How to be classy

I want to share something this week that has to do with fashion. I've had a hard time deciding what to share. I've decided to share a lesson I prepared for the girls back home about modesty a few years ago. The great thing about this lesson is it's designed in a way that it won't change with time. I want to share it in hopes that someone, some where, can get some ideas from it. This will be modified from the original lesson a little, but it's basically the same thing.

When I was a younger I was awkward (who isn't?) and I never thought boys would like me ever. When I got to high school boys were suddenly paying attention to me and I loved it. I soon realized that boys like cleavage. I was not lacking in this field and I figured there would be no harm in showing a little so I would wear increasingly lower cut shirts. I had heard the lessons in church about modesty but it was always something along the lines of "dress modestly because you're told to." I'm stubborn and a little rebellious (not much, but I tend to like to do the opposite of what I'm told when I'm not given a good reason. I once really wanted to get married just because my friend said I couldn't get married before her because her and her boyfriend had been dating longer and I thought that was a silly reason). It took a while before I realized there was a good reason I was told to dress modestly, and I wished someone had given me a better reason. I have come up with three reasons.

1. Dressing modestly shows you have respect for yourself. When you cover up you're telling people you don't need to be an object to feel good about yourself. You're confident in who you are in all ways, not just in your appearance. Girls that dress immodestly give off the impression that they feel they can only impress people with their bodies. In the business world it shows that you have little confidence in your abilities. While girls that show up to job interviews in short skirts and falling out of their shirts may get the job sometimes, in any respectable work places it wouldn't fly. You're taking away from your resume when dressing like that. It gives the message to your future employer that, no matter how impressive your resume is, you don't have the confidence in it to get you a job alone. 
2. Dressing modestly shows you have respect for others. Let's use the interview example again. When a girl goes in for a job interview with things hanging out and what not, it distracts the interviewer from the resume. If the interviewer is male, he may have a hard time looking at your face. I don't care what you may say about the interviewer, this is what happens. It doesn't matter if he's looking at your chest, legs, midriff, what ever is showing, or decidedly behind you or above you or down at what ever is in front of him. The fact still remains that he's not looking at your face. I don't know if many girls realize this, but revealing clothing can be distracting for female interviewers, as well. It may or may not be in the same way. Now put this in the every day world. Nearly every day you will see people. Most of these people don't want to see everything you have at once. Dressing immodestly is bound to make someone feel uncomfortable around you every day.
3. Dressing immodestly for a boy will not impress him and if it does he's not a boy you should be trying to impress. I think this is pretty simple and straight forward. Most women want to feel respected by men. If a guy is talking to you and dating you because he likes your (enter body part here), where is that relationship going to go? That's right, to the entered body part. If you're looking for a good, healthy relationship, impress a boy with your laugh, brain, wit, what have you. I'm not saying don't look good. Do look good. Looking good is important. But, as Michael Kors said at some point on Project Runway, you don't have to show everything to have sex appeal. 

Another bit in this lesson I gave had to do with shopping. I'm going to shorten this section considerably because it's hard to type. I had girls pick things that went together to make a point.

It is possible to make almost anything modest by layering. Always have good white and black camisoles. The best way to layer is by following this check list in the order I will present it:

1. Color If your reds are a little off and right next to each other someone will notice. If your colors clash horribly everyone will notice. This is the first thing people will see
2. Style The next thing people see is style. You don't have to be close to someone to see that they mixed styles that compliment each other or didn't. I can spot style clashes from 50 feet easy and I can't be the only one.
3. Fabric Not many people can tell exactly what type of fabric you're wearing until they're within talking distance. It's important to match fabrics, this will just be the last thing people see. 

Now, don't go crazy layering. The less you wear t-shirts under tank tops the better. Layering doesn't always have to be like that, either. It's perfectly acceptable to wear a nice blazer over a more revealing blouse to make it less revealing. If you really want to wear t-shirts under things, make sure your neck lines compliment each other. A good example is a crew neck with a halter top. That looks tacky. I actually think most halters look tacky anyway, but that looks especially tacky. If you're not like me and do like halters, scoop or v necks look the best with them. 

When you go shopping, go shopping with someone, preferably someone that is blunt. Ask them if something looks tacky if you can't decide. It's also nice to have someone there to tell you if your butt crack is showing when you sit down. Always make sure you sit down when trying on pants, shorts, skirts, and dresses. Decide how long you want your skirts and make sure they're still that long when you sit. Bend over, move around, make sure your clothes actually fit and won't fall off. 

And finally a word of advice: Get classic clothes. A pair of nice jeans will never go out of style. Fads can be nice but they won't last. But never give up! I entered the mature clothing stage in the early millennium when all the shirts were short and the pants were low and butt crack was the new cleavage. Bermuda shorts didn't exist, knee length skirts were rare, knee length dresses even rarer. When there is a slump in good clothes, just wait it out. Buy classic clothes while you can and they can last you until you feel comfortable with the styles again.