Way too many people use "love yourself for who you are" as an excuse. I think the meaning of this has been twisted by society. There has been such a focus on condemning models and celebrities for giving us a skewed idea of beauty and it drives me nuts. As I told a friend once, models are picked because they wear the clothes well. A fashion designer doesn't want everybody looking at the model, they want everybody looking at the clothes. The fashion industry knows this. The designers that design for people shaped like a model rarely go far. Girls like me have a hard time finding clothes that fit, not because clothes are designed for models, but because the average girl has considerably less curviness to their bodies. If clothes were produced for girls shaped like me more girls would complain about how they fit. Instead of hearing girls complain about how they can't wear button down shirts or they have to wear baggier shirts to fit their hips, we'd be hearing more girls complaining about how they can't fill up the tops of shirts, how everything is baggy and will only fit them around the waist.
Why does this matter? Because I want it to be somewhere on the internet that says you can love yourself for who you are and still want to look better without it being unhealthy. "Love yourself for who you are" doesn't mean accept the hand that has been given you. I truly believe it means love your personality and body type.
I feel I can use myself as an example of loving yourself for who you are because I have struggled with this and come out on top. I love myself for who I am. I don't wish I had another body, but I work hard to make sure my body looks as good as it can. The biggest thing I struggled with was my skin. I was born with skin that is prone to acne and boils. I had skin that hurt for a long time. Over the counter acne treatments would help for a little while but none of them lasted. If I had decided to "love myself for who I am" as it is understood by many people today, I would still struggle with this constantly. It has not gotten better as I've gotten older and in fact has gotten worse. I decided it was worth it to take the extra time to take an antibiotic and my skin has cleared up considerably.
This might not be the best example because that is skin and this is normally aimed at weight. I would like to point out that I started the antibiotics because of comfort, not looks. When you're a healthy weight you feel better. I have never heard someone say "I wish I was fat again." When it comes to looks, love what you have and work so you can love what you don't love. I'm not saying get plastic surgery or something. I'm saying if you're over weight, work to be a healthy weight. If you are a healthy weight and you don't like the shape of your body, find flattering clothes. Remember that no one can wear every style, not even hour glass shapes (for girls) or extremely v-shapes (for guys). I'm hour glass shaped and many people seem to think hour glass shaped girls can wear anything. This is false. I cannot wear shirts that are baggy and then come in around the hips or most empire waist things. I also look horrible in yellow. I don't know why cause my skin tone should look good in yellow... I know this, so I don't wear those types of shirts no matter how much I like the shirt/dress. Clothes really can help body image.
The same thing goes for other features you may or may not like. For example, I love my eyes and lips but I hate my nose. How do I not fret about my nose? I accentuate my eyes and avoid makeup styles and glasses that might bring attention to my nose.
Now that I've spent so much time on physical appearance, it's time to say what I think that phrase really means. I don't think it's supposed to be about our bodies. I think it's supposed to be about out personalities. I don't think I'm alone when I say I could spend hours listing my faults. Everyone has them, no one has exactly the same faults as anyone else. I think "love yourself for who you are" means to love yourself even though you have faults. Again, this doesn't mean you shouldn't work on yourself. I just think it means love yourself while you strive to make yourself a better person. There is no reason you should hate yourself. You might hate things that you've done, but that should never keep you from loving yourself. Rafiki said this better than I ever could.
Rafiki was teaching Simba to love himself for who he is. That's really what The Lion King means to me. Simba still has his faults at the end of the movie, but he doesn't hate himself anymore.
I love your nose.
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