A Dating Guide From a Success Story

Successful dating is wonderfully fun.

There's been a focus on dating for the last few weeks in my circle of friends, especially those from church. I've decided to compile a list of dating guidelines based on my college dating experiences.

These guidelines have helped me over the last few years. The only times I have been wanting for dates is when men have thought that I was dating someone when I wasn't. When that happened, I was also letting some of these guidelines slide. And now I will never want for dates again because I am marrying my best friend and we have already decided to go on a date at least once a week.

1. Meet the guys at least half way. It is not up to the men to initiate friendships, ask out, and follow up on dates. I'm aware that there are some women who will not ask men on dates out of principle. If you're like that, that's fine, but it doesn't take you off the hook. No one is going to ask you out if you don't at least let the guy know that you're interested in friendship, in the very least. If you go on a date and you have a great time, let him know you want a second date. If you're getting frustrated waiting for him to ask you out, ask him out. It's not that hard and you'll show that you're independent.
2. Dress to impress. Seriously. If you're constantly hanging out with the guy you like in sweats, it's going to be harder for him to be attracted to you. Unless you're doing something active (hiking, frisbee, swimming, volleyball, etc.), or maybe you're having a late-night movie, look like you made an effort. Don't do your make up for the ladies, do it for the men. Wear flattering clothes. Don't dress like a skank unless you want to be treated like one, but do dress like you like yourself and your body. Dress like you find yourself attractive. If you think you're attractive, others will, too.
3. Make your intentions clear. Sure, mystery can be intriguing and sexy, but so much mystery that the guy is confused is just going to lead no where. If you are really good friends, it's ok to tell him that you'd like to go on a date with him sometime. If you're too shy to do that, that's ok, too. As Ursualla told Ariel, "Don't forget the importance of body language."
   
   Body language is great. Show men you're interested by touching their arms, leaning on their shoulders, subtle things like that. Men aren't stupid. They may be oblivious at times, but they can read the signs, at least to some degree. My fiance was one of the most oblivious people I'd ever met, but he could at least tell that I wanted to spend more time with him.
4. Make friends with men. When I first moved into my apartment complex, the first friends I made were men. I spent all my time hanging out with them. I'm very comfortable with that, since I have a hard time making friends with girls. I was interested in dating a couple of them, but I'm not their friend for that reason. I am their friend because I enjoy spending time with them. They are funny, smart, witty, and caring friends. The great thing about being friends that go one dates with all intentions out in the open is that I'm still friends with them, even though I'm no longer on the market.

There are my guidelines. They have served me well.